Hell flames and other tales

Last night, Alliancepartner and I stood, hugging, outside the toilet, after we had walked into each other in the dark. In that moment, I’m pretty sure we were both reevaluating some of our life choices.

Tonight, we slept in separate rooms because 1) our eldest isn’t sleep trained and doesn’t sleep on his own, or through the night yet, and his nanny who takes care of him at night, has gone home for the weekend. 2) I’m breastfeeding and that obviously means co-sleeping with our youngest.

I was vex because small child has mad wind so there is a LOT of screaming at night and not enough sleeping, so, nje, flames. Alliancepartner was delirious with exhaustion. Neither of us were able to can, but there’s no out, hey. Parenting is khethile-khethile… And, it’s not always rewarding.

Being a parent is a journey of Hawemrrrr with moments of Yasssss, with varying degrees of 📷


It didn’t take us long to work out that we’ve been sold dreams about parenting being an eternally blissful, love path where choices are easy and patience is never ceasing. Yes, the love is strong and deep, but you don’t always know if you feel it, or even if you have the intuition for parenting.

Releasing guilt and embracing our efforts as enough, and mistakes as lessons, has been our biggest challenge and triumph. We often don’t know what we are doing, but we try anyway, and so far, so good.

This blog is for parents like us, who often don’t know what can they do with themselves. You are not alone. We outchea.

5 thoughts on “Hell flames and other tales

  1. Mali says:

    😂😂 what an interesting way of describing parenthood. I’m a stay-at home parent with a 17 month old. Throughout the day we love one another; annoy each other; sometimes years are involved (from both of us 👀👀) and nothing give me more peace than knowing I am doing my best and it sometimes means weeping into a tea cup or lighting a candle and locating my zen.

    Thank you for finally starting the blog. Sisonke kulendaba 💞💞


  2. Ntando says:

    I don’t have a chıld, nor have ı ever experıenced anythıng ure goıng through, kodwa ındlela osebenzısa ngayo amagama ıngıhlaba umxhwele. One day, ı also want 2 experıence such thıngs.


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