I’ve been isangoma since I was 23, so I don’t really know myself as an adult outside of my relationship with my mancestors and grancestors. I have struggled and suffered in mind, body and spirit, because of my calling. And I slay because of it. It’s taken me my whole life to work out where my spirit guides end, and I begin. Sometimes the distinction is not that clear.
Spirit guides have their own desires and preferences for physical experiences which they don’t mind imposing on yours truly, because FOMO. There’s no sex, sugar or gin on their side of The River of Time. So when the question is asked : “how do you want it?” (word to Pac. RIP) it often depends on which grancestor is closeby. All I’m saying is that there may be some truth to the sangoma jokes about “one round for me, one round for each of my ancestors”.
My uterus used to be a battlefield. My moontime felt like the devil was doing the nae-nae on my entire life. I tried hormonal contraceptives, but they made me lose my shit (raise your hand if I’m narrating your life). An older womyn sangoma told me that these artificial hormones were blocking me from being able to connect with my water grancestors who are connected with my womb and root chakra. If you think about it (please think about this while you sip on something), this explanation makes sense literally and figuratively because hormonal contraceptives alter your cycle through artificial means & can disconnect you from the broader cycles of the moon, the seasons and your own internal rhythms. I recovered from my moonache over 3 stages: 1. Getting off hormonal contraceptives 2. Becoming isangoma 3. Having babies.
I’ve kept myself hormone free for almost a decade, and my guides and I enjoy fire flame emoji sexy time. Now my uterus is like Dezemba.
For me, this connection to the divinity of nature is necessary and empowering. Knowing that I am one with the oceans and that the moon is within me, is the Beyoncé of spiritual consciousness. It does require work of course, to stay sensitive to my own tides, and for alliancepartner to know when it’s swimming season or when he’s likely to be eaten by sharks. With both pregnancies he knew straight away that we’d conceived, and what sex the baby would be.
For the first time in a decade, I am considering a long-term contraceptive solution. My gynae, a homeopath, has recommended a copper-silver lantuka called Nova T 30, that is inserted into the uterus and prevents pregnancy for 5 years. The down side: It’s a thing in my uterus. I’ve only ever had babies in there. The upside: It’s hormone free, unlike the mirena, and wont affect my hormones or cycle. It’s also copper and silver, which the grancestors love. This Nova T30 seems to have been made with moon sensitive womyn and their water-womb grancestors in mind.
I feel quite nervous about it, because I don’t want a surprise baby to be born, clutching it in its fist. But I am also excited about it because it’s made of the same copper and silver that I’ve used as offerings for my womb health, to my guides over the years. My water-womb guides have agreed to it. I hope they enjoy it as much as I will enjoy not being pregnant for a change.