So, we set out on our Journey to Monatefontein not knowing how we were gonna get there. We had a good sense of what it meant to be married to each other, but not so much how life would work now that we are parents to two children.
Our parenting style has been: Intuition x Trial and Error x Attachment Parenting x Lion documentaries on NatGeo x Please Jesus, namaDlozi, walk with us x screw it, children are resilient, all wrapped in awe that these spirits chose us in their incarnation (WTF were they thinking?! ) and a generous sprinklings of self-doubt.
But, we’ve been working through the guilt part, so there’s less of that, and more gratitude and self-kindness in its place. My therapy sessions are also starting to pay off, I can feel the heavy darkness lifting from over my head.
Our new selves stay being moulded, challenged and affirmed, in this journey, and we are looking pretty good. I’m so in love with us.
I think it’s safe to say that we are within Monatefontein. You can’t touch us.
I’d like to share the 5 lessons we have learnt in this Journey to Monatefontein:
1. Bye, Felicia
We have felt like the whole world is against us, that’s probably because it is. Love, marriage and parenting have been commoditised, and we realised that we’d internalised some of the propaganda that exists to make us doubt our intuition, and feel that our efforts unworthy.
We can’t silence the violence of the capitalist Msunery (yet), but we are training our inside voices to be louder and stronger than the noise. Small consistent acts of self-care and self-kindness have given us the daily ability to can.
2. Don’t need no holleration, hateration…
So often we have been our own worst enemies, we let our egos lead where our hearts should have. Our egos are concerned with power, and there is no place for power struggles in this Love dancery.
We’ve shamed ourselves out of doing what is good for us because we felt we didn’t deserve it, or that it can wait. We’re learning and relearning that we cannot postpone goodness towards ourselves and each other.
We are reminded over and over, the importance of setting boundaries and respecting our limits. But sometimes, we’ve have to just push a little bit harder, for a bit longer. Like just when we thought we could literally not even, and have been 5-to getting into the bath with a bottle of Inverroche, we collected ourselves and took one small step, and then another, until we conquered Mount Guilt-Doubt-Anxiety. Sometimes I’ve sat and wept at the foot of that mountain, and alliancepartner has helped me to get up. Sometimes it’s the other way around.
4. It gets better
I don’t even need to explain this.
Conscious Love in parenting and marriage require all of the patience, trust, humility and effort. 100% all the damn time. Sometimes we don’t feel like doing the work, but we do anyway, and the effort is so worth it. The lessons our children teach us, and the investment we make in each other are enriching and empowering our lives in ways we never thought we needed.
We feel #blessed and #highlyfavoured.