As I type this, I am lying alone, as in, by myself at my mother’s house. Where are the children, you ask? Not with me.
It all started when I was on the verge of losing my shit (once again) and my mum asked my brother and skwiza to take Kima for the afternoon to hang out with his cousins. They kept him overnight. He didn’t die. I didn’t die. Nini joined them, and they’ve been there for a few days. OK, they’ve been there for many days.
It’s a bittersweet feeling. Our kids are old enough to make their own missions with our family, which means rest and QT for us. Yay. Then we miss them and phone, but they are too busy rolling in the dirt to speak to us. Ugh. If they don’t miss us, what are we? Bad parents? What happens now? Do we have to make another baby who will love us? Let’s just go fetch them before they forget all about us…
The first time we left them for more than 12 hours, was 2 weekends ago, to attend dear friend’s wedding. We were out there in The Midlands, confused by all the peace and quiet; we scrolled through our phones looking at pictures and videos of our Leadership, chesties trending. Phela a weekend is a long time when you’ve left your hearts in another town.
1 Hour later:
Whats a “children”? Is that an app?
We had the whole weekend alone – long conversations, silences, dinners, rounds. Aaaah….This is who we are, kanti. We are not just a tag team against the United Long Ting Force and Allied Cuteness. We are also lovers, individuals. We like to nap and chill…and this is what it feels like to lay in a bed and not be treated like a jungle gym. It’s nice to be here. Shiiiine.
We left them again this past weekend when we went to Mpumalanga on my Gobela duties. Imagine. We were away from our children for two weekends in a row. Wow. And it was fine, you know?!
In the past:
Family: let us take the kids for a while, you need to rest/be together/get things done
Me: OMG Yes Please
Anxiety/Guilt and Other Useless but pervasive feelings of Parenthood:
It turns out that we are still parents who love our children, even when we let people who are not us, take care of our children for us, so that we can do other important things, like work, or each other.