Private Practice 

Happy New Year. Wow. It’s nice to be here. We have just passed the equinox*, signalling the new Spring Season, uMandulo: The Time of Beginnings, as well as a Black Moon*. 

 I’d like to thank my ancestors for being so advanced in science, mathematics and life in general, that they aligned with and charted their life cycles by the seasons, sun, stars and moon. 

Ashe. Ashe. 

The year 20Nywiwing was a year of big lessons (again), big realisations  (again) and  great challenges  (ugh). My whole life nje is just one looonnnggg schooling. 

Me, this whole year: weeehhh kanti how much more do I need to release, resolve and unlearn?! Akhant.

Guidance: Congratulations, that’s  wonderful. Continue, avoidance champion. * proceeds to fuck up all my shit *

 ALL my worst behaviour, patterns and nightmares came through like “oh, you thought we were resolved because you know all about us and talk about us in English, praxis nywaxis.”

 This past year was truly the year amadlozi stopped playing with me, and you, and the whole world, just look around. Baptism by fire, baba. 

I thought I was so grown, resolved, woke and spiritually evolved, getting married, raising kids and talking to spirits, becoming a gobela…kanti I have not even begun. Hello 30s. Moer.

These Flames of Verstaan that have engulfed my life since puberty were just getting me to the starting line. For fuck’s sake.

I know I have work to do. I just don’t always feel like doing it. I don’t want to know better, I don’t want to do better…I don’t want know or try. I just don’t want.

But I am a person, one in a bloodline, under stars…a link in a chain, so even when I don’t want, I will learn and heal and grow. I must. Guidance, nature and my ancestors make the things to be done, dark or blue.

For example: My life’s milestones all occur in Autumn (March/April) and in Spring (September/October). Not much happens in my life over winter, so I also try to lay low during that time.

The moon rules my cycle. I don’t even use an app to track the moon’s phases because my uterus stays doing the most.

The planets are also outchea, also, but don’t know these conjunct and retrograde things, I feel them all but I am lazy to read about them, so I listen to and learn from those who know.

I don’t know it all, but I try to be prepared to receive what I need to know, when the time is right. These are some of my personal practices for mindfulness, clarity and grounding: 
1. Paper Trail 

I try to write twice a day – morning pages and journal in the evening. I find that when I can be still, and write, it brings mindfulness to my emotions and spirit. Guidance is clear, and I get a chance to focus on what is inside me, and in my dreams, rather than what’s out there in the world (on my phone, I never leave the house)

2. Keep it Clean 

I don’t like to do housework but I find it therapeutic. When I am feeling mentally cluttered or anxious, I do housework to get some relief. Doing repetitive tasks (like scrubbing or dusting in the house, or watering and weeding in the garden) is a form of meditation I can vibe with. I can get out of my brain (when it’s a trifling mess) and into my body. My spirit can power down, during those times.

3. Let it go

I try to do a big clean out every spring and autumn. Those are also the seasons for big changes in my life. I try to meet those changes by being as open via clearing out my living space. I never know what changes are coming, but they always do, at the same time every year.  I don’t know what is coming this year, but something is going to happen. I can feel it.

4. Ask for help

I have a great network – friends, family, doctors, etc who are always open and ready with help and support…but…this one is still very difficult for me. I’m very hard on myself and overly concerned about burdening others. I can accept help when it’s offered but I don’t always know when or how to ask. When I do eventually ask for help, I always wonder why I don’t do it more often…

5. Say it Loud

 I am always praying. Like, always. Informally, I stay connected in spirit when I am chopping vegetables or driving, I give thanks, ask for guidance in my day, find my zen when I get pissed off…

I ask other people to pray with me and for me. I receive prayer in gratitude from friends and family. 

Prayer is the most grounding and consistently peacebringing of my personal practices. 

I have umsamo**  where I kneel and speak formally through ukuphahla, using impepho and candles, to amadlozi as my elders guiding me. 

I often still use the songs and scriptures I learnt growing up, to connect with the Divine.

6. Nice Things 

I eat, do, buy, bathe in, create and enjoy them whenever possible. I deserve.

Obviously I (and we, as a couple) have a bunch of other practices that are embedded in my practice as isangoma. But these are my daily, safe to share with ya’ll practices that don’t require you to be a super-saiyan somebody. It’s important that your personal practice is expressed within parameters of spiritual safety and cultural sensibility. 

I am still learning to balance True Guidance with preparedness, I am continually learning to be deliberate and open, but I would like to add that I am quite fucking advanced in the spiritual connection department.

On Offerings and connecting in spirit

* For you to research 

** sacred space in a home where rituals and ukuphahla are done.

One thought on “Private Practice 

  1. Dineo Maboe says:

    Wait, what, when did you start a YouTube channel?!? Behind, I am.

    I agree with you that it is hard to do what you know you have to do. The 30s are not a joke. I commend you for keeping on and for juggling all the balls that you do.

    I will ponder upon this post some more when the sun is out and perhaps add another comment. Until then, I’ll be catching up on YouTube.


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